It's a funny thing that your most prized things are not large things. They're not houses (I owned 2 at one time), it's not a fast car, fancy clothes, money in your bank account or a stock portfolio. Those things mean nothing, never have and never will, they are just empty meaningless crap. The most treasured things are the ones that have most meaning to you...things that were given out of love.
The world lost a wonderful, kind and gentle soul last week and yesterday people that loved her had to say goodbye. Chrissy, although not without flaws and personal issues, we all have flaws and issues, was larger than life. Her Western dress/boots, lots of jewelry, hair and make-up... she could light up a room. If little kids were around (at a store, a mall, etc.) it was an amazing sight to see how they interacted with her. She was different, not ordinary and she lived her life as such. All she ever wanted was to make people smile and she wanted everyone to get along.
Sometimes, due to certain circumstances you have to back away and give the person you love time/space and what they need. She needed time to repair a relationship with a very special young man. For when you love somebody, the right way, you give love unconditionally. It should never be what you can get or take but what and how much you give. It comes from a place in your heart that is true and right. You give that person what they need NO MATTER WHAT THIS MEANS TO YOUR OWN PERSONAL HAPPINESS OR COMFORT. SHE AND I BOTH UNDERSTOOD THAT. Sometimes people need it more than others and that's ok...it's just what a person should do. If it means you can't be together and have what you BOTH want, then you simply just give love in its' most purest form.
As human beings it is inherent that we want to be selfish and think about our own happiness, our hopes and our dreams, the life we want for ourselves or as a couple, together. When you love someone the right way, their problems, their health issues, their hopes and dreams, what makes them happy & smile, to just spend time and LISTEN to them, to hold them when they felt bad or just be in the room with them and know they just wanted the company of the person they loved to be close ARE NEVER AN INCONVENIENCE! You give and when it seems you're empty to give anymore...you find deep inside of you an endless supply of love....you suck it up and give more, forget about your own selfish wants and GIVE. Why? Because you know that person is worth it! This world lost a beautiful kind soul, who had more feelings and more caring than any of us. Unconditional love is by far the most difficult thing in this world to do, but if you do, then you know what you have for the other person is the most true.
This heart was attached to a Valentines Day card that Chrissy gave me many years ago. We both disliked Valentines Day....we both felt why do you have one day to do something special and nice for someone? You should be able to do that all time. Nevertheless, she gave me this card with this little heart attached to it. That heart has been on me (it's in my wallet) ever since she gave it to me and ALWAYS WILL BE. I do not and will not keep it with me to pine away for a love lost with BOTH of our hopes and dreams shared...plans made etc. I keep it with me to HONOR and CHERISH Chrissy, who she was and the love in her heart and mine for each other. That will never fade away, it cannot be taken away...that lives on forever. It's ok to keep that love in your heart for a person when they are longer with you. It's what has made us who we are in this life. It should be honored, remembered and celebrated.
SHE DESERVED NOTHING BUT TOTAL KINDNESS, COMPASSION, PATIENCE AND LOVE! It was the utmost privilege to know her, laugh with her, to be there for her when she hurt, to do something to make her smile or laugh when her body had betrayed her years ago, share hopes and dreams with her, love her, and in return, to have her friendship and her love. It never mattered what we did together. It could be something as simple as shopping for groceries, going to a doctor appointment, cleaning, walking through every bead shop in the Kansas City area, watching tv or waking up at 3:00 am to go outside and stare at a full moon with her or listen to "her owls." She loved the night and full moons. She would look up at the moon, close her eyes and just smile. It was such a beautiful thing to see and be a part of. I could care less that she would wake me up, or get a phone call or text, from a deep sleep. I was HONORED for her to think of me, wake me up and want to share that with me. For it does not matter what it is you do...all that matters is the time spent with that person. Cherish every moment you have with someone. Every little thing that might seem boring or mundane are things that matter THE MOST. It's not the big things, it's not the troubles, it's not any drama, it's the smallest things that matter the most. She deserved happiness and unconditional love. What we ALL wouldn't give to have 5 more minutes with her right now.
Please say a pray today for Chrissy, her son and her mother. Yesterday was most likely the hardest day for them possibly throughout their lives. I know it is was mine.
Friends, I ask you to do one of two things for me. Either or would be much appreciated.
Chrissy loved candles. For you see, she had sustained a horrible neck injury years ago and she would almost always wear sunglasses during the day (we would go cheap sunglass shopping at Walgreens a lot) and at night she would dim the lights and sometimes turn them off and light candles. It was the soft light that she loved and they brought her peace when lit. Light a candle today. Her favorite candle was from the Yankee Candle Company "Sage and Citrus".
Chrissy also loved music...any kind of music from country to rock. From Trace Adkins and Big and Rich to Kid Rock and Nickelback. Yes my friends that give me trouble about Nickelback....you now know why I love them so much. She loved to crank up her music and just drive. So today, play your favorite song as loud as you can and crank it up.
For those of you still reading and wondering what is the piece of paper attached to the heart. When times were challenging, drama was high and things seemed impossible I attached this saying to the heart: "Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of hope; it can outlast anything. Love stands still when all else has fallen."
Peaceful journey Cisco....HOH. And yes Chrissy, I will never forget what HOH means (it was you who gave those three letters a name) and it's something that is just, as you said many times, "ours". Love Always, Kimo.